Remington Just Trying to Survive (and stay sane?): January 2013

Why the hell would I write this blog?

Why did I create this blog?

In the middle of August 2012, my husband and I found out that he has cancer... incurable, inoperable pancreatic cancer & my life has been a sad fog of hospital stays, doctor appointments and fear of what will I do without my best friend. I've decided to create a blog about my experience with the sadness I feel, to have a place to put my feelings, since I cannot afford a shrink and keeping it stuffed inside seems to be making me feel like I'm going to explode.

This is a blog devoted to trying to survive the loss of my husband, and best friend

I don't know why I'm doing it, I'm such a private person - and a big believer in being careful of the TMI, but perhaps I need an overflow valve. So there you have it.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

lonely

I miss him so much, I don't know how to deal with day to day things with out him - I am so lonely & I feel like it's getting worse, not better. Very, very painful.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Stuck

The past few days have been very hard. It still feels like it just happened, not 2-1/2 months ago. I'm stuck in this state of dispair. I miss him do much. I am missing a huge piece of me-like I have been disabled, severely scarred and I can't move forward. It is so painful.

Monday, January 14, 2013

It's a wonderful thing when you marry your best friend

I really, really miss my best friend.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Lonely

I miss Paul so much and I feel so lonely. I cannot do anything around the house without thinking about him and missing him. I wish I could move out of this house and start over, I just feel so stuck. Even though he's been gone for over 2 months, I still feel like it just happened. The pain is unbearable.