Trying to lift

After several weeks of sinus infection then dealing with antibiotics making me sick & dealing with sinking into deeper depression, fighting it. Feeling like I'm drowning and with being sick I don't have the strength to keep afloat. Today I'm feeling a little better. Tried some yoga - trying to curb my inner critic & not getting down on myself for not doing better. We'll see how it goes.

How long will this last?

I'm still missing my best friend. It still feels like it just happened. I try to get myself to do normal things but nothing feels normal. It is all hollow. Without someone to share it with it means nothing. Everything means nothing. Taking care of the house, artwork, cooking, shopping, looking at the sunset, enjoying a nice day - all of it. No longer having someone to share all the minutiae of everyday life hurts so much. Not having him here to talk to when good things happen or if I'm having trouble making a decision or to share a joke or to share a good meal or hold onto when I'm anxious or frightened. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Alone

I feel so alone. I am so, so lonely.