Am I selfish?

I grew up in Jersey, within 1/2 hour drive from the Seaside Boardwalk - the Jersey Shore. Much time in the summer spent there. It was devastated last October, during the hurricane. I was in the hospital with Paul as he lay dying. Within 3 weeds my father was gone. 3 months later my aunt passed away. I still have no full time job. When the boardwalk reopened on Memorial Day after a lot of hard work it was glimmer of hope for me. That rebuilding is possible. Moving forward is possible. Yesterday a 6 alarm fire reduced it to ash. And all I can feel is how muchore loss can I take? How could I be so selfish? Those poor people who own and work at those businesses I cant imagine having the strength to rebuild a 2nd time