I took a trip to spend the weekend with my sister and her family. It was hard to make the 5 hour drive all by myself, and I didn't even have my love to call on rest stops to make me feel better. It was good seeing my sister and her family, and to spend time with her, but not as much fun as a trip would usually be. We went to see our Dad, who is sick with lymphoma. We've been kinda estranged for several years, but I thought it was better to go see him, so I would have no regrets when he was gone, which looks like it could be soon. He seems to be starting to eat again, which is a good sign, maybe he'll hang around for a while longer. I feel guilty leaving his care up to my sister, but I know she can handle him better than I could. And I'm taking care of Mom. It was really hard coming back home, without him here to greet me, without him here to miss me. I miss having someone who is so close to me that can miss me and be happy to see me again. I really miss having that feeling of love. I don't know if I'm strong enough keep going, but I'm trying.