Why the hell would I write this blog?

Why did I create this blog?

In the middle of August 2012, my husband and I found out that he has cancer... incurable, inoperable pancreatic cancer & my life has been a sad fog of hospital stays, doctor appointments and fear of what will I do without my best friend. I've decided to create a blog about my experience with the sadness I feel, to have a place to put my feelings, since I cannot afford a shrink and keeping it stuffed inside seems to be making me feel like I'm going to explode.

This is a blog devoted to trying to survive the loss of my husband, and best friend

I don't know why I'm doing it, I'm such a private person - and a big believer in being careful of the TMI, but perhaps I need an overflow valve. So there you have it.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

FEAR ANXIETY HOPELESSNESS

I haven't been able to eat all day. I tried to eat some cereal, but could only get a few bites down. I'm so very, very scared and the person I depend on to comfort me, cannot because he is sick. He is dying and the cancer is killing him and he is scared too, so I have to act strong but the weight is killing me. What do I do now?

3 comments:

Yvonne said...

Dear Justine, there are women around you who care about you and stand ready to be there for you; women who do not expect you to put on a strong face. Everyone needs a safe place and safe harbor where they can cry and break down when life gets too be too much ... Sharing your pain with one person may be too much for one person; but you do have a group of women in your life who understand what you are going through and who are willing to be there for you when you are ready to reach out ... Hugs for you, and for Paul ..

Justine said...

Hi Yvonne,
I'm sorry I didn't see this post sooner - it helps me to know there are people I can turn to. I am grateful that I've met such a great group of women. Thank you for your support and caring. It means a lot to me.

Justine said...

Hi Yvonne,
I'm sorry I didn't see this post sooner - it helps me to know there are people I can turn to. I am grateful that I've met such a great group of women. Thank you for your support and caring. It means a lot to me.