Why the hell would I write this blog?

Why did I create this blog?

In the middle of August 2012, my husband and I found out that he has cancer... incurable, inoperable pancreatic cancer & my life has been a sad fog of hospital stays, doctor appointments and fear of what will I do without my best friend. I've decided to create a blog about my experience with the sadness I feel, to have a place to put my feelings, since I cannot afford a shrink and keeping it stuffed inside seems to be making me feel like I'm going to explode.

This is a blog devoted to trying to survive the loss of my husband, and best friend

I don't know why I'm doing it, I'm such a private person - and a big believer in being careful of the TMI, but perhaps I need an overflow valve. So there you have it.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Numb then downing

Sometimes I feel kinda numb or almost normal but then I feel guilty for it. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in the reality of it all & I don't know if I'm going to make it. I feel like I'm losing some of myself. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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